Seal pup. Cait told me the good news. I responded with a seal pup gif.1
Bronto. He looked like a brontosaurus in a mid-stage sonogram. This was Ronan’s default name for the second and third trimester. Several people were surprised (and relieved) to learn Bronto was not on the birth certificate.
The Bean. Born as a 3,500:1 scale great northern bean.2
Captain Space Bean. When flying through the air or nighttime space travel.
Chickpea. Three months in, gone was the clean definition between head and body. Ronan morphed into a stack of perfect spheres.
The Great Garbanzo. When a chickpea grows into a little boy.3
The Building Inspector. You got a permit for those stacked blocks? You do? Well, it’s not the right one. SMASH.
Captain Squawks. Hungry, wet diaper, too long in the car seat? Captain Squawks will not be ignored.
Chubbers S. Floof. Ronan’s tenacious lawyer, whom he involves any time he’s unhappy. Chubbers S. Floof has never lost a case. Damages are paid in bananas.
Chief Snugglah.4 The Chief comes out when Ronan’s feeling snuggly. An extremely rare character.
McFloofers. Fresh out of the bath. Poofed. Floofed. Ready for PJs.
Chomp the Grizzly Bear. Chew toys be damned. Only mom and dad’s hands, feet, shoulders, and necks will soothe teething.
Dr. Mischief. Now you see me, now you don’t. Disappears around corners in the blink of an eye. Tackles three flights of stairs before taking his first step. Dives headfirst off any elevated surface. Loves knocking over the garbage.
Ronan. After all this, he will only respond to his name.
- Ronan translates to little seal in Gaelic.
- Assumes cooked beans.
- Performs magic on rare occasions.
- Said in an Australian accent.